waiting for that special someone

2010-08-11T06:58:00.002+08:00

It is pretty amazing how the smallest item or gesture to others may seem nt impt, but to some1 it could mean the opposite.

Working hard, extra hrs for me is alright becos in doing any job, I always want to give it my 100% best. But unavoidable fact such as faitgue will step in esp after working non stop for almost 25 days. Trying to sleep earlier, trying to do things that could cheer me up were several methods I tried to use but still it only had a minimal effect. That is of cos till yday.

I have been blogging daily but keeping them in draft. Mostly are personal thoughts and of words I wished I had e chance to rely to you but nvr found a chance to do so. Yday was a big surprise esp since sat things has not been going smoothly. Trying to solve a 40k problem even after 4 days non stop of OT was frustrating and to a pt, really draining away my remaining strength. But it was a shock to suddenly see ur sms in e morning. A simple greeting was all it took to lift up my mood. And at the e end of day, regardless of e hours I slept, it was a indeed a sweet and refreshing slumber.

I wished and hope it is nt too much. But I wished upon a star that this is just nt a dream. Will it just stop? I dun wan it to happen. The gesture of e gift was a bonus. It was more than I wished for, able to talk to u and see u was enough.

2010-07-17T07:24:00.002+08:00

A cold and raining once again. And it never fails to rain on sat once again lol.
Time pass fast and now is already e 17th. Almost 2 months since I started work. Work is a brand new exp for me but good one I would say. Cos despite e stress and the time squeeze, this is the type of problem I would rather face than studying. I would sweat it out inside a engine room of a ship than to sweat reading about biz study.

1 week has passed, how have u been? Staying happy I hope?

对你的思念...

2010-07-16T10:08:00.002+08:00

Stuck in a little mess room on a ship. The rain just started and it looks like it would not stop anytime. Looking out from the window, a tingle of loneliness struck me. Been working non stop for almost 3 weeks, perhaps this week I will have a tiny break. Will I have things to do?

If I ask u to watch e movie despicable me? Would u say yes?

2010-07-15T09:09:00.001+08:00

Late in blogging for today. Been a extra bz morning, preparing the vessel for undocking to move to a quay side location. Just got pretty bad news, thought my Sunday would be spared but read the job schedule for July, realise I got one more vessel to go, a indo ship.

Bad thing is it is docking on a sunday! Oh my... I am losing track of my Sundays lol.

Day 15... It goes on, missing u and wondering hw are u.

2010-07-14T08:19:00.002+08:00

A cool refreshing thing... Weather is gloomy yet cold and nice. Kinda how I feel right now. Mood is low, but still trying to make myself happy.

Another few days without contact again... I wonder, how are you? Is ur eyes ok? Hopefully u r enjoying ur work.

Working non stop for almost 3 weeks. Do I need a break? I tint I might need but still when break, what do I do?

My Oakley is here, yup, one of my few expenditure lol...

Hope e weather dun turn more gloomy and I hope my mood dun change too.

三个不同角色....

2010-07-13T07:54:00.002+08:00

Finally I got my days and dates back on track, at least I know today is tuesday the 13th. Working for almost 3 weeks straight is still workable but perhaps knowing it is e same time that I have not been able to communicate with you freely makes myself more wore out.

Last night I was driving out for a short moment, and I looked over to my left passenger seat. I wonder, and thought of the moment where u would lugged your big soft toy cat and seat comfortably and even to the point of dozing off. I saw a image of that when I looked at the seat but soon realize it might not happen again. It is empty for now but I hope you will take up the honour of seating there once again.

Hopefully ur work is proceeding all well? Take care k!

2010-07-12T06:56:00.002+08:00

Good morning, start of a new week. To me, it is almost 3 weeks since we had any much of contact.
Just to start by saying on Sunday, I asked whether u are free is just becos I just wanted to pass you some eye solutions in case your eyes get dry/irriated during work. Just make sure u take 101% care of yourself. At least I presume now you would be able to have regular meal which is good to hear.

Nothing mushy or stupid silly things I would say. This week I need to start on my admin paper work for my vessel. Most probably another busy week.

Oh ya, make sure you don't tire yourself out esp when you just had your eye op, if too tired, take leave or off.

Hope your work proceed smoothly... :)

2010-07-11T08:23:00.002+08:00

Good morning! Another sunday morning at work. I am already starting to lose track of time, last week monday i actually thought of it as a tuesday becos of e working sunday. This week is even worse, i have to constantly remind myself about the date.

but somehow this weekend seems abit more pleasent. Perhaps it was due to yday. Anyway, do take care of your eyes. Rest well, and make sure the swelling come down before u start your work on monday.

i am actually hearing david tao, ai hen jian dan in the office from my colleague's radio. Hmmm, nice song. the lyrics sound veri meaningful.

忘了是怎么开始
也许就是对你　有一种感觉
忽然间发现自己
已深深爱上你　真的很简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓
是是非非无法抉择　喔~~
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随
那个疯狂的人是我　喔~~
I Love you 无法不爱你
BABY 说你也爱我
I Love you 永远不愿意
BABY 失去你
不可能更快乐　只要能在一起
做什么都可以
虽然　世界变个不停
用最真诚的心　让爱变的简单
I LOVE U 一直在这里
BABY　一直在爱你 Oh ya~
I LOVE U　
(yes I do)
永远都不放弃　这爱你的权利
如果你还有一些困惑 Oh No
请贴着我的心倾听
听我说着
爱你 (yes I do) 我爱你

Sound quite suitable...

2010-07-10T15:53:00.001+08:00

Another Long day... But I guess it is nt so bad after all. Hearing some1 voice lighten up e day.

Just want to say take care your eyes k. Rest!

2010-07-08T07:17:00.002+08:00

I thought saving every single post about u as draft will make me slowly forget about you.
I thought by mantaining the distance between us, i could ignore the presence you have.
I thought i was strong enough to stop thinking about you.
I really thought i could.

But just seeing u online for that slight moment, just knowing it could be so near yet so far. I dismiss that and tried to sleep early but...
who knows what heaven is trying to tell me, i dreamt of you again.

And i guess i am back to square one.

不知不觉又过了几天
我想我习惯了忽略
去忽略没你的时间

不近不远走在谁身边
我想我适应了一切
这一切没你的时间

某条路某条街某首歌某间店
某种熟悉但如今却刺眼
不碰触不跨越为自己留一些安全界线

谁都以为不听不看也就没感觉
一转身才发现空气里面
依旧飘散着记忆的气味

谁有所谓或无所谓也不能改变
原来是我在爱上你的那瞬间
就困在围墙里面

某条路某条街某首歌某间店
某种熟悉但如今却刺眼
不碰触不跨越为自己留一些安全界线

谁都以为不听不看也就没感觉
一转身才发现空气里面
依旧飘散着记忆的气味

谁有所谓或无所谓也不能改变
原来是我在爱上你的那瞬间
就困在围墙里面

谁都以为不听不看也就没感觉
一转身才发现空气里面
依旧飘散着记忆的气味

谁有所谓或无所谓也不能改变
原来是我在爱上你的那瞬间
就困在围墙里面
多可悲围墙都在对不对

2010-07-05T08:50:00.002+08:00

Once again blogging while onboard the vessel. Pretty tiring, work and tuition and cleaning of car. Endless activities to keep myself busy and to steer clear of some thoughts. Never thought I would say this but now given a choice to work on Sundays, I would be willing and glad I have work.

Almost a week has gone past. As each day goes by, I lower my expectation. But what was I expecting? Ur happiness?

2010-07-04T09:16:00.000+08:00

Blogging while Onboard ship... Another Sunday morning at work.

Another day of missing u.

2010-07-03T07:07:00.002+08:00

Weekend is here. But guess everyday seems like the same since I will be working both sat n sun. It is hard being at work. Work is easy but what makes it hard is the fact I can't get u out of my mind. Every few moment, I find myself wandering back to all the few moments that I am able to have with you. Perhaps call it lucky, but I am glad that I have some memories to hold on.

Packing myself full of activities... I don't even know If that is right, but I know I can't spend every single moment thinking what could have been, what should not have been. Dreams often differs frm reality. I have accepted that fact...

It is going to be a tiring weekend. I hope u r happy... :)

2010-07-02T07:21:00.002+08:00

Another morning, another day. Quickly days have come and gone, it's already Friday. Hopefully it has been a fruitful week for all?

As for mine, work has been great. Now in the midst of finishing the first vessel that I followed from the start to the end. A second Korean vessel await, and this time round I will have to start taking charge of all the processes and admin matters. Doubt I can avoid OT, but somemore given a choice, I would just slog till 9 10pm, go home, sleep and be back in office the next day 7am. Free time to me is now a torture, even sleeping is getting less comfortable.

I remember hw you said before you almost wanted to fetch me frm work, however if I OT till 9 10pm, would you be there? I never requested much from anyone but somehow I wished I could be more selfish. I wished I could demand some but I know in the end, I should be a giver and not a taker.

Sunday is back to work again, I hope I tire myself out

2010-07-01T07:09:00.002+08:00

Day 2. Yday was another tiring day perhaps physically as well. Took the time to explore around the vessel. Went up and down through the engine room, went back n forth to check on the cargo hold. Basically the brown army admin shirt that I was wearing inside was totally soaked through with sweat. But funny thing is how I never drop much weight lol, perhaps the eating made e lost equal.

It is good to be doing such tiring work, at least it allows my mind to be occupied with other matters. But e moment i dread the most will always come and that is at night. Each night I find myself struggling hard to sleep, and the mind will slowly fade into dreamland only when exhaustion starts to seep in. I am trying harder and harder not to think, but each time I fail. Pictures and messeges of u still linger on. And it is funny how I can wake up in e middle of the night only to find myself checking my email thru my phone. Day 1 and day 2 have passed by, whether it would day 100 plus or even more, I would not know becos all these times, I have never forgetten about you.

Silly to say, there is no audience around here but me yet I just wish to say, I really do miss you and hope that you are happy.

2010-06-30T07:13:00.002+08:00

Decided to change my recent two posts as draft. I dont even know if she read it or even knew about them, but i guess i would not know the ans.

Midweek thru, i am starting to feel the burnt out. Physically although tiring, i am still taking easy in my stride. However, mentally i cant help but to admit that it is all in a wreck. A complete turnaround from what i was just feeling perhaps a week back? or even on e weekend.

Keeping myself busy with work,tuition and even household chores seems to be a temp measure. Just like how you would take a pail to collect the water from a leaking tap. I guess sooner or later you would probably have to hire a plumber to get it fixed. As for my case, i wish it is simple and easy that way. If only matters of the heart were as easy as 1 + 1 = 2.

As long she is happy, guess i should be contented.

Keep it easy my friend, keep it that simple.

2010-06-25T08:36:00.003+08:00

Been ages since i last post one complete post. Kinda blank on what to post.

Perhaps i will make it a habit to post daily.

times have changed, so have my life. Now into the working adult life...

Will there be more changes?

I shall end off here first. My blog will be kept simple. Just like how i want to control my life now.

2009-11-14T01:14:00.001+08:00

Something weird... the feeling is weird...

anw.. shall redo e blog soon... so currently... blog under construction!